


Never Be Satisfied...

by WhereAnaWrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flirting, Mild Language, Song fic, Song: Satisfied (Hamilton), hamilton inspired fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 16:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17870510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereAnaWrites/pseuds/WhereAnaWrites
Summary: Based off of the song Satisfied from the amazingly intelligent Hamilton Broadway Musical.





	Never Be Satisfied...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. A month ago I was lucky enough to see Hamilton. The song Satisfied had quickly become a favorite and this idea was born. The emotion and self-sacrifice in this song really got to me. (this is my first song inspired fic and real shot at some angst.)

Nightfall brings the end to a joyous ceremony. It had been a long day, your feet sore from the heels you had to wear, glad the wedding is over for you to finally take them off. It’s been an hour since you’ve gone to bed, staring up at the ceiling fan in the room as you lay there suddenly makes you feel lonely. The room is dark, silent, despite the warm body sleeping next to you. You frown, reminiscing about the wedding that took place just hours before, and the speech you had to emotionally make your way through. You had paused, and although it looked as if you had to collect yourself, overwhelmed with happiness, it was for a different reason. Your mind had flashback to the first time you met your sister’s new husband.

**One Year Ago:**

The atmosphere of the party around you is light, friendly chit-chat makes a casual background noise while you try to focus on the conversation happening in front of you. Your date is rather obnoxious, a little loud with his overdramatized reenactment of the last intel mission he was a part of. It’s all well, the story, but it doesn’t change the notion that you are absolutely bored out of your mind.

He’d barely paid attention to you the whole night, didn’t even offer you a drink or introduce you to the people in his department he’s talking to. Clearly forgotten by the four men surrounding you, your eyes begin to flit across the room, wondering if you snuck into the kitchen and read the stove manual if it’d be more entertaining.

You catch a glimpse of your sister, but her attention is elsewhere, captivated by something or someone you can’t see. You sigh under your breath, twirling the melting ice in your whiskey glass. Time to freshen up your drink and maybe stay put at the bar. Here you thought Avenger parties were supposed to be fun.

You excuse yourself, falling upon death ears, and slip away from your date and his coworkers. Someone inconveniently steps in front of you, so you side step them, turning halfway to get by. It proves futile, avoiding other people, because you bump right into a solid body. The empty glass nearly tumbles out of your hand before you regain your grip.

“Sorry,” You wince, meeting the person’s gaze.

“Hi.”

Your breath halts in your lungs as you stare into eyes so blue they would put oceans to shame. For a few beats, you temporarily forget where you are, hell, you even forget what your dang name is. The coy smile spreading across the full lips of the person brings everything up to speed. Right. Avengers party.

“Your drink is empty,” The man says, although he doesn’t take his eyes off yours.

You nod, feeling like you’ve fallen into a trance. Loud, unabashed laughter from somewhere in the room snaps you back to reality.

“Hi,” You respond belatedly, if a little breathless. “Excuse me.” You slip past him.

You breathe easier once you reach the bar, leaning against the counter top, sliding you empty glass across the surface. The bartender is busy making another drink, so you wait patiently. A figure catches the corner of your eye as they step up to the bar on your right.

“Hmmm,” The man hums, “You don’t seem very satisfied.”

The familiar voice and words are clearly directed to you. The borderline rudeness of the statement makes you turn your body to face the man you bumped into three seconds ago. You quirk an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” You question, affronted.

The man chuckles under his breath, copying your move and leaning his arm on the counter. His eyes sparkle with a knowledge you haven’t figured out yet. As if he has you pinned from the moment he saw you.

“You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied,” He repeats, voice dropping an octave.

You bristle. “I’m not sure what you mean. Did you forget your manners?”

“We’re the same, you and I.”

“Is that right?”

Finally, the bartender comes over, taking your empty glass and your order. You’re grateful for the distraction. The flare of irritation, yet utter intrigue of this man, calms down in your chest; it’s not like you haven’t seen him around before. Once the bartender starts making your drink, you turn your attention back to him.

“You’re a woman who’s never been satisfied?” You quip, taking joy out of his little jaw tick.

“I’ve never been truly satisfied either,” He smirks, his eyes never leaving yours.

“That seems like a personal problem.”

“Unless I’m mistaken and that look of utter boredom was just the trick of the light.”

You grab your new drink, taking a small sip, gauging his expression. There’s no malicious intent in those blue fibers, just a genuine observation. God, he’s handsome, too, and he fully knows it. Finally, you hold out your hand. “M’names Y/N L/N.”

His smirk morphs into a friendly grin as he takes your hand in his own, calloused one. Warm shivers travel up your arm and down your spine, igniting spark you never believed was possible. You’re struck with the notion to take him and this conversation far away from this place. Away from the dull chatter and the egotistical personality of you’re supposed date.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” He introduces, as if you don’t already know exactly who he is. “But I’d rather you call me, Bucky.”

“You’ve been watching me this entire time?”

“Well, when you see a pretty dame like yourself looking as if she’d rather eat her shoe than listen to her date utter one more sentence…it’s noticeable.”

You can’t help the startled laughter emitting from your mouth. You lift your glass to your lips to muffle the sound, but Bucky’s eyes lit up regardless.

“You don’t look too entertained yourself, Sergeant Barnes,” You point out casually.

“Much better now that I came over here,” He counters with a wink.

Oh, he is a flirt, this one. You know it, you’ve heard he was way back in the day, but at the same time, you know he isn’t just playing you. He seems just as interested in you as you are in him. It’s why you are still standing next to him, matching his wit word for word. You lick the lingering drop of whiskey from your lips, his eyes following the movement of your tongue.

“Parties aren’t your thing?” You question lightly, shifting just a tad closer.

He leans forward, his knuckles grazing yours on the counter. “Not really, but I figured I’d chance disturbing my usual life routine for this evening. I’m glad I did.”

“I second that,” You agree, lifting your glass in a small toast.

Bucky eye’s gleam off the reflection of the glass as he lightly taps his against your own. You both take a sip, your eyes slipping from his to glance around the room. Your date hasn’t noticed your absence at all, still talking with a flare of arrogance.

“So, what’s your date reenacting over there?”

Bucky’s words fade from your ears as you catch sight of your sister across the room. That dreamy look on her face from minutes earlier is solved when you look back at Bucky, then to her face again. It clicks in your brain. You’ve never seen your sister look so…so… _helplessly enamored._  She’s never been one for jumping from guy to guy, hell, she’s never been one to really grab the spotlight and introduce herself to someone she’s interested in.

And she is  _interested_  in Bucky Barnes. The man standing next to you. The man who boldly called you out. The man who has been flirting with you, and you him for the past two, three, possibly five minutes. The man you felt an instant connection with, the one you’re already falling for. Your heart sinks a little in your chest.

Your sister’s eyes meet yours, almost begging you, as if she’s nervous that you already metaphorically called dibs.

 _This one’s mine._  She mouths helplessly at you, the worry in her eyes evident. You swallow the lump forming in your throat.

“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

You abruptly set your drink down, a little harder than necessary on the counter and give your attention back to him. You smile brightly, straightening up to grab his arm, taking the glass out of his left hand. He nearly stumbles when you pull him forward.

“Come with me,” You demand excitedly.

He shoots you a confused look. “Where are you taking me?”

“You wanted to mix up your routine, right? Well, I’m about to change your life.”

You ignore the way his eyes linger on your face. Ignore the bemusement and the slight disappointment. Then he smiles, and it breaks your heart.

“Then by all means, lead the way,” He relents.

You continue to tug him along, your fingers gripping the sleeve of his gray shirt. The opposite side of the room isn’t a great distance, and once your sister realizes you are heading her way she perks up, subtly fixing her hair over her shoulder. There’s no mistaking the shy little smile or the hopeful look in her eyes when you and Bucky finally stop in front of her.

She confidently holds her hand out immediately. “Liza L/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant Barnes.”

“L/N?” Bucky questions, looking between the two of you.

“My sister,” You nod, your hand slipping from his arm.

Bucky gently takes hold of your sister’s hand. “I’m glad to meet  _you_ , Liza.”

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Your sister gushes. “Thank you for all that you do. You’re a true hero, Bucky.”

The soft look melting in Bucky’s eyes makes you take a step back. You figure your sister’s words mean a lot to someone who was a former, controlled assassin. Their focus now only seems to be on each other, as if everything else is fading around them. You take this time to make your escape.

“I’ll leave you to it,” You gracefully step away, ignoring the sharp clenching in your stomach.

Your sister’s eyes fleetingly meet yours before she smiles back at the man in front of her. You spin on your heels, glancing over you shoulder just for one last look at the handsome man who had already caught your heart. Bucky made your sister laugh about something, but his blue eyes catch yours. You snap your head back, breaking the eye contact.

Once again, you promptly smack into a solid body. “Sam!”

Sam Wilson steadies you with a knowing expression on his face. “What did you just do?”

Puzzled, you ask, “What? What are you talking about?”

“Did you just…” He narrows his gaze at you, then suddenly he’s pulling you back to the bar. “Did you just sacrifice yourself for your sister?”

You scoff, rolling your eyes, picking the drink you left on the counter back up. “Please. I just introduced them.”

“You and Barnes were  _just_  canoodling two seconds ago.”

“We were not canoodling.”

“He only had eyes for you, sister,” Sam tells you, crossing his arms. “You were already smitten with him, and he looked like he wanted to sweep you off your feet.”

“Sam, please,” You beg. “It’s nothing. It’s fine.”

He shakes his head with a defeated sigh. “You always put your sister first.”

You frown, as if he just insulted you. “Look at her, Sam. Have you ever seen her so helpless like that? I know my own sister, and you will never find anyone more trusting or kind. She deserves happiness and if it comes to it, yes. I will choose her happiness over mine. Every single time.”

Sam purses his lips, glancing across the room. He’s silent for five long seconds before he meets your eyes. “And are you satisfied with that?”

“Yes. I am.” You tell him sternly. You grab your drink. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a date to get back to.”

You leave him without another word, weaving your way back through the small crowd. As you make your way, you ignore the churning in the pit of your stomach, the burn in your nose and the ache in your heart. You are a SHEILD Agent and have been working hard to climb the ranks without any compromises. If you were to get involved with an Avenger, well, the gossip can be insidious in New York City. Especially around the compound.

You finally reach your date, the man you’ve been seeing for the past three weeks, grabbing his arm. You whisper some lustful things in his ear, words you don’t want anyone else to overhear. When he gives you a sly look, you smirk, nodding your head. He excuses himself, taking your drink to place on the table, then he’s leading you out of the room and away from the party.

You can’t help yourself, looking over your shoulder for your sister one last time. You spot her, standing intimately close with Bucky, their shoulders pressed together, matching smiles on their mouths. Then, as if he can feel your stare, he looks up. Those intelligent, blue eyes of his sear into your gaze, sending your heart into a burning desire for him to continue to look at you like that. You break from his eyes, spotting Sam also looking at you, with an air of sadness, or pity. You grind your teeth, snapping your head forward.

**Present:**

As you lay naked under the sheets of your bed, next to the new guy you’ve been seeing, you roll over facing the window. The lights of New York City don’t compare to the light you saw in Bucky’s eyes when he first spoke to you. Fantasizing about those eyes of his staring at you if he were in this bed doesn’t do anything to ease the ache in your chest. Bucky married your dear sister, Liza. At least you can keep his eyes in your life. You squeeze your eyes shut, exhaling shakily, pushing the pain for the past year away.

Nice going, Y/N. He was right. You will never be satisfied.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3


End file.
